it's a time to start over, I believe. Does anyone escape to the web to get away from the tormentors of the real world? A mentor of mine told me that a hiding place is only as good as a location, but I feel as though I can be here, in the open, and still away from everyone else. Does anybody else feel like that? Or know what it's like to be a jester crying?
To know that the eyes of everyone around you is watching you with a microscope, changing positions until they find one that they like and sticking to it? To know that they only choose, that they only CAN, see what they wish and not a cell more? To know that no matter the layers of filth dumped upon thee that you cry alone?
I ask, will you understand me?
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Hi. I just read your profile and your concept for this blog. I have to say it touches me.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you find websites or people who share something with you, have something in common with you. If something like this happens I could write and write, it is so inspirational.
I also like the idea of a jester crying. It reminds me of me in a way. When I was younger (I am still a teenager... but when I was even younger than that) I always (or almost always...) acted like a fool around other people, maybe to get attention or to be liked. And while doing this, I might have been all the time crying on the inside...
Oh, this is getting a bit personal, haha. That was not my intention... I guess?
But your entries seemed personal to me, so I just let "myself go".
You know, people are one-dimensional. They don't only want to see what they want, they can't do it differently, just like you said. It took time for me to realize, but now it is so clear to me.
People might call me pessismistic (and I don't deny that), but the world is a place which just doesn't contain true happiness... I mean, how can there be happiness in knowing nothing, in living in today, a place of fear? Happiness with this abstract existence is impossible, it is... you get the point (I hope so. I can't describe it better.)
However, I am one-dimensional too. Something that buggs me constantly. We are all victims of ourselves. Even if it is the little things like eating or sleeping. It buggs me to be dependable on all that, there is no way out of it, no way out of humanity. No way out of existence. I so long to be "free", but if I would just kill myself... it would be... wrong. Wrong, because I already experienced life and because I would be too afraid to do it... wrong because I already existed.
This got pretty pessismistic and emo-ish, I'm sorry. I only wanted to share some thoughts with you, mostly because you don't get too much feedback on this blog, which is sad.
Bye,
Good day/night.
HattersMadGirl
P.S: I just noticed this post of yours is already 2 years old. You probably won't read my comment, but atleast I tried. ;]
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